


Chloe's 🍩

by kittyfurnandez



Series: Distraction Prompts- One Shots [5]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Funny, food/sex analogy, women chatting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:27:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28722822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittyfurnandez/pseuds/kittyfurnandez
Summary: "Chloe's 🍩[donut emoji]" prompt from @GermsBitch on TwitterKind of an inside joke.. this could have gone many ways, but I thought doing it from this point-of-view was easier for those readers who aren't as ridiculous as us! lol! Hope you find this lighthearted and fun. Rated mature since they are chatting about certain orifices.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Ella Lopez, Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Distraction Prompts- One Shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1999456
Comments: 10
Kudos: 28





	Chloe's 🍩

Chloe’s 🍩

The words rung in her ears, distracted and disconnected while she daydreamed what exactly he meant while she was supposed to be listening to Ella’s evidence findings. All she could feel was her back against the cold counter in the lab, but her hands idly played with her pen, and she was finally snapped out of it when she accidentally muttered, “ _ chocolate donut? What the hell.. _ ”

“Yo, Chlo! Earth. To. Chloe!” A small hand waved in front of her face and Ella’s concerned glare pulled her from the trance. “You okay? Chocolate donut? You need some carbs in you because I think there are actually donuts in the break-”

“I said that out loud?!” Chloe’s cheeks flushed as she realized she was speaking without realizing. She looked down at the evidence on the table and tried to get back to reality. Reaching for the murder weapon, “So this is it? This is how Mrs. Kleet was killed?”

“Okay, buddy, that was like five minutes ago. What is going on? You know you can talk to me. You seem pretty out of it.” Ella’s big brown eyes scanned her friend’s face for an answer. “Did something happen between you and Lucifer?”

Throwing the evidence back on the table and huffing, “Yes. Well, no. Not really.. Just something he said. I have no idea what he meant by it! His ‘luciferness’ is too much to decode sometimes.” Chloe let out a loud sigh and an eye roll as she crossed her arms across her stomach.

Ella’s smile now radiated as she beamed at Chloe. “Girl! He said ‘chocolate donut?’ C’mon, deets, sister! I need to know in what context because I have some pretty gnarly ideas, but I’m not sure which one fits the puzzle here.. Like did he mean it in a ‘let’s-use-chocolate-donuts’ kind of way, or a ‘let-me-see-your-chocolate-donut’ kind of way?” Ella tapped her pen on her chin and barely took a breath before her suggestions. “I mean, I didn’t take you as the type, but maybe it’s a different woman kind of way?” The small scientist looked eagerly at Chloe, waiting for more information.

“Ella, this is, well, inappropriate.” A short silence filled the room, but Chloe needed answers. “But, honestly, I need to know! I am so confused! Trix asked for a donut this morning for breakfast, and I said we only had chocolate to which he whispered to me, ‘I’d like to explore YOUR chocolate donut.’ And then he winked like I knew what the heck he was talking about!” Chloe’s confusion clouded her face again, her animated hands coming to tap against the table in agitation. She was trying to piece together an impossible puzzle that was Lucifer, and once she finally got away from the Devil metaphors because she finally understood, she was being wrapped up in new ones, which mostly had to do with sex.  _ But a chocolate donut? What the-?! _

“OH, so it IS the ‘let-me-see-your-chocolate-donut kind of way! Alright, Chlo, you go girlfriend! Don’t be nervous. It’s only a big deal if you forget to relax!” Ella was rolling her shoulders with her gloved hands on the table in front of her while she began arching her back. “So you don’t really want to strain your back muscles too-”

“Ella! What are you talking about? That does not clarify  _ anything _ for me!” Anguish was now washing over Chloe’s features while a weird, nauseous feeling filled her stomach. “I need more concrete words, not metaphors. What does he mean?”

Ella’s cheeks flushed and she let out a silent “oh..” She couldn’t believe how naive Chloe was sometimes, how vanilla- and how ironically opposite of the ‘chocolate’ they are currently discussing. She didn’t know if Maze was right about the ‘vanilla’ part, but Lucifer and Chloe clearly proved that opposites attract. 

“Well, you see, when he says ‘chocolate donut,’ it’s a metaphor for..” Her eyes went down to Chloe’s pants as she pointed with her lips and made a short sucking noise. She made eye contact again and watched Chloe shake her head, clearly still confused.  _ I cannot believe I have to explain this! _ “Chlo, he means the booty hole. You know, your ‘donut?’ Because sphincters look like donuts.. The anal.. Sphincter.. And the ‘chocolate’ part, well that is kind of gross if it’s-” Thankfully Ella did not get embarrassed the same way Chloe did. 

Cutting her off, Chloe looked up, threw up her hands and gave a “OH MY GOD!” at the ceiling. Trembling in her voice and shame on her face she apologized. “Ella, I’m.. ugh, I’m so sorry!” One hand went to her forehead to shield her eyes from making eye contact in embarrassment while she looked down at the evidence before her.

“No biggie, Chlo. Not like we don’t all have one! Anyway, as I was saying, you don’t want to tense up too much or strain your back muscles. It hurts way more if you don’t relax! But with a guy like Lucifer, you know he will make it enjoyable, which it can be. Maybe not the first time though.. I mean, I don’t know if you ever did that with-”

“DAN?! Oh God, once! And it was.. Well I rather not talk about it. We chose to never mention it again..”  _ Great _ , now she had more questions about what to do or expect. Ella seemed experienced enough, and she was a friend.. “So, do I need to.. You know.. Like, get it ready back there?” She made weird hand gestures, quiet panic setting into her bones.

“I mean, that’s totally up to you.. I don’t know what you’re grooming’s like,” Ella mimicked an old Mexican woman’s voice thinking about her grandmother. “but my grandma always said to ‘keep things clean around the bean!’ Though, I guess this isn’t as close to the bean.. Anyway, I keep it pretty tamed down there _ and back there _ . I’m not getting any action, but ya never know..” Ella’s simplicity and lack of discomfort on the topic was admirable.

_ Okay, so keep it tamed. I should tame it then. What does THAT mean? _ “Okay, another stupid question I guess.. ‘Tamed.’ You mean, like.. I should.. Trim around it? Or more than that?” A look of disgust and almost pain flitted across Chloe’s features.

“I like to keep it tamed with a Brazilian, but to each their own! Just lift a cheek with one hand like this,” Ella now had her right leg propped up on the lab stool while her left hand reached around to grab her upper thigh. “Then take the razor and just..” Her right hand disappeared behind her making a motion Chloe couldn’t see, but understood well enough. “It’s a good way to make sure you won’t have any ‘sprinkles’ on ya donut, if ya know what I mean.” She half-whispered to Chloe and threw her a wink.

Not sure she could take any more mortification during this interaction, Chloe nodded ferociously and began turning towards the door. “Alright. Yeah. got it. Okay, are we done here? I’d really like to be done here.” She pulled on the handle of the lab door giving Ella a “Thanks!” and running back to her desk. Sure, she wasn’t as experienced as him, but she did not realize she was THAT inexperienced! She needed to finish her paperwork so she could stop stressing about having to groom her..  _ donut _ .. after work.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, your comment and kudos are so greatly appreciated! Hope you enjoyed my nonsense! ❤


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